brian level... some sequentials..., working on a pitch. Options

[uphillbrian]

here are some sequentials. if anyone is bored and wants to color anything, feel free. included an old school color job for fun. The story is old-school comic-booky so the 80's style coloring seemed appropriate. This is just a fun thing to work on. I'll post new pages whenever they're finished. thanks for looking

This post has been edited by uphillbrian: Mar 30 2012, 02:11 AM

[Ron Fortier]

Brian, you really need to reconsider multiple panels that shrink your art. 8 on this one was one maybe two too many. It weighs down the over all composition and I felt like I was reading a newspaper comic strip rather than a standard comic book layout.
Just my two cents.

[uphillbrian]

Brian, you really need to reconsider multiple panels that shrink your art. 8 on this one was one maybe two too many. It weighs down the over all composition and I felt like I was reading a newspaper comic strip rather than a standard comic book layout.
Just my two cents.

That's a great crit ron! You caught me! My primary influences have been raymond and williamson as of late. haha. I've been newspapering out! I think the reason I'm doing so many panels per page is because I'm referencing a lot of old Daredevil-era Frank Miller. His pages were dense and advanced the story so freaking well that I wanna steal that thunder. Moreover, I think the art may look shrunk for a few reasons. Number one, because it is. I'm doing these pages on 9x12 sheets as opposed to the standard 11x17 for more experimentation and speed. Number two I'm writing it a little wordy like older comics were, so I've got to leave more room for word balloons. It's kind of a love letter to being a child in the late 80's early 90's reading comics.

This whole thing has been a biiiiiiig exercise in story-telling and practice practice practice. I'll look over my next few layouts and see if i can cut panels if there are more than 7. You hit the nail on the head, though. I think you're right. Now we'll see if i should break this fight into two pages or if the lack of words will free me up.