Looking to Improve! :) Options

[Thehoyt]

hi i'm new here so i figured i'd just jump right in! here's a few pages i've recently included in my portfolio and i figured i'd throw it up here and see what you guys thought about them. i'm looking for constructive criticism so that i can improve my penciling skills, any advice/tutorial is greatly welcomed!

its a sample Ghost script and the original script is from dark horse and you can find it here:

the pages are in this order Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4

thanks for the help guys!

[Thehoyt]

[quote name='Thehoyt' date='Oct 15 2010, 05:21 PM' post='55586']
here's the pages as well:

[Gonzogoose]

You show some real promise here, with a style all your own. But there are some things to work on, as I'm sure you know.

First off, the proportions and perspective is off in that first page, first panel with the building. I get what you're going for, but it didn't come off like it should.

Sticking with the same page, panels 2 and 4 are really good. While your edges on the details (like the dashboard) could be a little cleaner and sharper, overall it's well drawn, nice shading, etc. The shoe in panel 2 is awesome, really shows the creases as the foot's in motion.

Panel 3, though, for some reason feels like it's not the best of your ability, like the figure was rushed.

The biggest thing to note about the next few pages is the lack of background detail, which is a tell-tale sign of a growing artist (I say growing to be kind, most would say amateur). It's something my artistic side still struggles with. Figure work, while difficult to get right, is easy and all the background stuff becomes a tedious chore. While sometimes there's a stylistic choice to go with light backgrounds, here it looks like you left them out because you didn't feel like doing them.

That's not a slam, I just know that feeling. Backgrounds are every artist's bain, but we have to get good at them if we want to grow and be successful in this industry.

I would add that you need to think about changing up the angles, but you need to get the basics down first. You have a great foundation with some real skill, but you need to get crisper and work on the little things, and get a better grasp on perspective.

Say what you will about the book, but "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way" had one great piece of advice when it came to panel layouts. It says to always go for the more dynamic shot. That's not to say every shot needs to be action, but there are more dynamic views of every single position, even someone sitting at a desk talking. You just have to figure out what that shot is, and once you do it'll make the panels more interesting. Some of these are a little flat.

But like I said, you have some solid talent here. Keep it up and keep sharing!

[Thehoyt]

Wow! Awesome! thanks so much! Backgrounds are definitely something i'm working on as we speak. the next few pages i put up will have some improvement in that respect i hope. Perspective is also something i struggle with but theres no real way deal with it other then to continue trying haha. I'll also give some new angles a try as well. i really appreciate the review, i hope to continue to get helpful information off of here in the future. Stay tuned your perspective was very helpful~!
-H

[Thehoyt]

Ok so Gonzogoose i want to personally thank you! haha. so yesterday i went back and reread for the umpteenth time "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way" and for some reason the section on perspective really clicked for me this time around, and i'm really excited about the results! below you'll find the page i finished today after receiving your review. if anyone else has any suggestions on how to continue to improve i'm all ears! this is the first page for my original characters "Simple Girl and Wolf-Boy" i'll start on the second tomorrow and there'll be plenty more where this one came from!

-H

P.S. Panels 1 and 5 have no backgrounds because i think Outer Space is much better done in the inking and/or coloring. Enjoy!

[LurkD]

You might consider separating the panels down the right side of the page. Not much, just a margin or gutter between them. The reason I suggest this is it can be all too easy to read such evenly laid out panels that snug up together so closely as one big confusing panel, and you don't want that to happen.

[Thehoyt]

good call that won't be a very hard fix! thanks! i'm also going to bring the ship in panel 1 over the the proceeding panels, they are a bit super imposed i think

This post has been edited by Thehoyt: Oct 22 2010, 09:39 AM

[LurkD]

It might be better to have the ship show in the gutters between the overlapping panels, rather than have it on top, especially if the column of panels follows the big panel in the storytelling.

[Thehoyt]

Point well taken! thanks again for your help!

[Thehoyt]

Alright here's page 2 it's a title/splash page of one of the main characters in the book punching the lead dinoman from page 1. let me know what you guys think! i'll add the title and all the script digitally.