Fred Lang's Art Thread Options

[Fred Lang]

RE-DO of PAGE ONE, "N'Cur: Bounty Hunter" by Bill Nichols

Thumbnails for re-do of N'Cur: Bounty Hunter, Page 1. Got some (painful) good feedback from my first go at this--and that feedback was 100% spot on. So here are my changes:

Made panel 1 thinner. I can establish the planet, moons and space debris without giving that much page space to it all. Establish and move on.

Cleared up N'Cur's arrival by switching to a rear shot of the ship entering the planet's outer atmosphere, keeping the ship related to the planet as a destination this time. Re-establish the junk, etc. in the background.

Better establishing shot of N'Cur--he's no longer a floating head...he's inside the cockpit, glaring ahead, hands on the controls. I also get to establish his chin tattoo which pokes outside of his helmet (that otherwise occludes his face for the rest of the story!), as well as establishing the distinctive helmet sitting on the control panel near his left elbow.

Added a panel that explicitly has N'Cur's ship landing. I felt this was necessary to lead the reader from the space shot to the next panel:

Better, more bizarre, and dynamically shot bazaar scene. Higher angle, allowing me to concentrate on the throngs of alien shoppers, indicating the bazaar without drawing it in deep perspective as in the first failed page. More aliens, more expressions, more characters. Dirtier, more "used" in look, and more environmental details on the ground and kiosks. Threw away the 3D models of the bazaar from the earlier page because it ended up looking too sterile.

Note also that I intentionally had the curve of the planet in panel 1 lead to N'Cur's ship in panel 2. The curve of the planet in panel 2 leads to N'Cur's head in panel 3. I'm working on decidedly aiming the viewer's eye along the page...

Now, on to drawing the actual page. Figured you guys and gals might be interested in what your feedback revealed to me.

[Bill Nichols]

Good, Fred. Looking forward to the pencils.

[Fred Lang]

Sorry for the delay--Real Life™ got in the way for a moment there. Here's a re-do of Bill Nichols' PAGE 1 of his sample script, which I call "N'Cur: Bounty Hunter". Comments from my DA Page:

Page 1 re-done.

I have to say that this is the maximum level of "good" I can put out right now with any kind of regularity. This is the best I can do at my current level of understanding about comics art.

Now, I will undoubtedly learn more tomorrow, but for this exact moment--I can do no better than this. I have under 4 months to improve and get to a professional level at which I can be considered good enough for my first-ever portfolio showing at Emerald City Con 2011.

N'Cur: Bounty Hunter sample script by Bill Nichols, Editor of SKETCH Magazine

Photoshop, Sketchup Pro 8

[ChadStrohl]

Very nice. I thought the first one was pretty solid, but you just kicked it in the pants!

[Bill Nichols]

Damn, Fred, I like it. And there'll be more pages?? Wow...
I'm looking forward to this...too bad I only scripted out those first pages...this could be an awesome book..

[Fred Lang]

Thanks, guys! Okay, thumbs for Page 2.

1: Rear view of N'Cur's boots in foreground, stirring up dust in a worm's-eye view. BugJuicer toughs in front of the joint, standing guard, noticing N'Cur. Re-establishing city in background.

2: Toughs in foreground looking down on N'Cur as he attempts entry.

3: Tough #1 leans down, face to face with N'Cur, finger on his chest. (Bad idea)

4: N'Cur close--reaction--really unnerving near-smile, with Tough #1's warped reflection in visor.

5: Eisner-esque single panel detailing the quick succession of moves N'Cur will use to disable Tough #1...blade hand cut to throat / knee swipe / arm lock, dropping Tough #1 to his knees, and / gun whipped out, pointing at Tough #2 who, by virtue of having no panel breaks, has had NO chance to react to all of this. He now has N'Cur's pistol pointed at his face, with Tough #1 on his knees between them. Stalemate.

[LurkD]

I love seeing where pencil artists can't not do night and space scenes without writing Barry Windsor-Smith's initials all over the place.

[Bill Nichols]

We could turn this thread into a tutorial for Sketch Magazine...what do you think?

[Fred Lang]

We could turn this thread into a tutorial for Sketch Magazine...what do you think?

Like I'd say no to that...!

[Bill Nichols]

Good.

[Fred Lang]

N'Cur Page 2 pencils WORK IN PROGRESS. Sick today, but I still soldiered on and got this done. I think I chose a different digital pencil this time--the lines are a little thick. Problem? If so, I can just shift the entire page into blue line and redraw it in another layer. Think an inker could keep the pages similar enough between Page 1 and Page 2 for it to matter? No idea how some panels got a different pencil than others. I'll have to watch that--but I'd probably catch it sooner if I didn't feel so sucky.

Just wanted to prove to myself that I could still move along and draw in spite of feeling crappy. Finishes tomorrow.

[Ron Fortier]

Man this is so sweet. The re-do of page one blew me away. Hey, Bill, can I write the "next" five pages?

[Fred Lang]

Sorry for the delay. Been sick. Page 2 of Bill Nichols' "Bounty Hunter" script. Might thumb out Page 3 today if I feel better. Going to make some tea and watch some crappy TV for awhile and try to feel better.

Sorry for the varying pencil types in this one. Somewhere in my sick-addled work on this page, I bumped a pencil setting in Photoshop and didn't particularly notice.

I added three "meta-panels" on the bottom larger panel--the fight scene--in order to try to visually break up the fight so as to lessen possible confusion. Sort of a long, single panel of the quick fight with Tough #1, but with an added "bump" of emphasis on each stage of the fight in the background. Again, not sure if it came off correctly, but I like the look of it. Also made each successive "meta-panel" slightly larger than the previous one to add a sense of importance, with each one getting slightly larger to indicate a sort of "catching up" with the present moment in the story, which occurs on the far right of the final panel. I'm not sure of my judgment on these right now, so I put them on a separate layer so that they could be erased, resized, etc. at will, should an invisible writer or editor deem them unnecessary. (I often plan "iffy" elements as separate layers for this very reason...)

Anyhow, off to rest for a bit, then on to Page 3.

[Ron Fortier]

Love the panel sequences a great deal. Good stuff.

[Fred Lang]

Love the panel sequences a great deal. Good stuff.

Hey, any day I please the Eye of Ron is a good day! Thanks!!

[Fred Lang]

FIRST MARVEL PAGES!! WHEEE!

FIRST MARVEL PAGES! Finally, I get to share that I did a few pages for Marvel last month.

Pick up Power Man: Shadowlands #4 this Wednesday, turn to pages 13-14, and you'll be looking at my stuff! Hooray! I'm very pleased with this opportunity, and I'm hoping that it turns into regular Marvel fill-in work in the future. Keep your fingers crossed--and go buy the book!

[This image is the COVER, not my page. You gotta buy the book to see my stuff. Or...er...wait until Wednesday when I'll post 'em. But NO--GO BUY THE BOOK! Turn to page 13-14 in the store and exclaim, "MY GOODNESS! LOOK AT THESE AMAZING TWO PAGES! EPIPHANY! CAN I BUY TWELVE OF THESE?" Or something like that.]

http://marvel.com/comic_books/issue/33877/...ower_man_2010_4

[Bill Nichols]

Congrats, Fred! I'm glad you finally get to announce it!

[Bill Nichols]

I like the three meta-panel idea. It indicated a progression through the same sequence/fight. Good job, Fred. I like you're tearing it up!

[Ron Fortier]

WAHOOOO!!! Congrads Fred on cracking Marvel!! That's just awesome! But then again no surprise here, considering the stuff you are doing. Bravo and keep em flying.

[Ross Hughes]

Congrats, Fred!!!!